Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I love you. Go after that dick
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