I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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