why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
