idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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