At least make sure they are 18
Why
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
