I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
