kristin has been a bad kristin
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
This toilet bowl is my home.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
