How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
