I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
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