I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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