I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
