That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
