I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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