Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
