K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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