She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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