Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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