the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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