More tranny stories later!
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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