ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
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