I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
