I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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