you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
