I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
