Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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