Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
