The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
