I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
