This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize