you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is my gift to your gina
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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