let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
