i think i have two assholes
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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