you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
