every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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