I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
