Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
