OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
