So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
