So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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