Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
