$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
