cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Randomize
