So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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