One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
