i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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