Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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