There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
