I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
