i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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