My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
